I had an entire post typed up about the wishes I had in my life. I reread it, and it just sounded selfish, because
I really have been incredibly blessed. So I am just going to say a few things before I move on with my massive to-do list.
Society puts so much emphasis on traits and situations that cannot be changed. I'm not saying that I am not guilty of this. We all are. We are all hypocrites. I know I've given cute boys more attention than the not-so-cute ones simply because they are good looking and I want them to like me. How incredibly ridiculous that? How do we decide who is cute and who isn't, who wears cute clothes and who doesn't? Every time you put on cute clothes, put on make-up, fix your hair, you are trying to impress someone. Sure, I look in the mirror and think, Hey, I like the way I look today. But I know I am not looking nice for me. If I could, I would sit with my greasy slept-till-noon face, tangly hair, and pajamas every Saturday.
I also hate how certain things are commended and certain things are completely ignored or brushed off as stupid or not worth recognizing. We honor the athletes with scholarships, the smart students with scholarships, the kids good at art with scholarships, the kids good at music with scholarships. But what about the students who work every day after school? Okay, they're rewarded with money BUT they're not exactly recognized for putting their efforts into that. What about the kids who put a lot of time into their churches? What about the kids who just put effort into spending time with their family and friends? That's what matters! I know I wish I would have not done so much unnecessary work in high school and just took a moment to chill and smell the flowers. I am not going to deny that I am smart, because I know that God decided to bless me with something in my brain that just understands stuff and I am really, really appreciative of that. But I also work hard at school. I use my worth ethic to get what needs to be done, done. I do my own work. I'm pretty honest. I got a B on my research paper, and you know what, I deserved a B. I'm okay with that. I'm not the person who scrambles to copy answers on my math assignment minutes before it's due, because you know what, I didn't get it done. So I deserve a 70%, because I only did 70% of the work well. I think that will help me later in life. I might not know how to fix a leaky pipe, though. And there are a lot of people who do. I don't think I'm better than anyone else, because I am clearly not. There is so much in my lifetime that I will never be able to do.
This is why it kills me to see such apathetic people. My life isn't perfect, but I put a smile on my face and deal. I take it out on other people once in a while, and I'm sorry. I'm just trying to make a life out of the life I've been given. I don't want to be criticized for getting awards or getting straight A's or trying to be friends with everybody. It's what I'm good at, so it's what I do. Find something YOU'RE good at and DO it and maybe I'll recognize you for that. I am not better than you because I am graduating at the top of my high school class or because I am captain of the dance team or because I have funny, nice, pretty friends. That means NOTHING in real life. But, I AM better than you if you go through life without ever caring about anything besides getting drunk and smoking weed and spending all of your money and being rude to people. I am determined to be better than you.
We read the Great Gatsby in school recently (and I will be honest, I did not read the whole book), but one statement stuck out at me about how
personality is only repeated behavior. No matter what thoughts you have in your head, people can only judge you by what you do or say. The more you do or say something, the more those traits are adhered to YOU. There are so many things that run through my mind that people can never know because I don't say them.
I need to write my government paper.
Sorry no funny post today. Maybe after graduation :)
