Friday, January 30, 2009

Wal-Mart Fast Lanes: A Consumer Report

I was pretty sure that the point of the self-checkout lines at Wal-Mart was that they were meant for convenience if you have just a few things to check out. I guess I was wrong. Because this lady with two kids tried to check out her weight's worth times ten in processed foods and beauty products and I was RIGHT BEHIND HER. W. T. F. It was almost as annoying as Sarah Palin, and that's saying something. But seriously. I was tired. The people behind me were tired. Her kids were tired. WHERE IS THE LOVE?! 

Apparently not at Wal-Mart, that's fer dang!! 

Monday, January 19, 2009

Naming body wash, and other unnecessary random facts

Here is a dang good question:
Why do perfume, shower gel, lotion, etc. companies always have to name their freaking products after things that don't freaking make sense? This I do not understand. Like okay, yesterday my mom bought some shower gel at Bath and Body Works. She was actually in the store and called me to see what scents I wanted. I was like, "Um, I don't know, what do they have?" So she started reading me the titles of every single freaking thing on the sale rack and the only one that made sense to me was cucumber melon, not even kidding. I was like umm is it necessary for corporate America to be messing with my head like this? NO. No it is not. So of course I pick three random scents. Something amethyst, sea island cotton, and dancing waters. Do any of those scents make sense to you? For one, amethyst is a gem. February's birthstone, actually. So does that really have a scent? No. OH WAIT, I know, the hard work and sweat of the people who mine it out of the ground! But it actually smelled pretty dang good. And sea island cotton? What does cotton smell like? Nothing, that's what! Yet this shower gel miraculously has quite an addictive scent... and dancing waters, that cracks me up. Because seriously, if I really wanted to smell like water, I think I would just take a shower WITHOUT shower gel. Duh, Bath and Body Works. Duh. 

Arch nemesis:

So Kristina and I are supposed to be working on a 30-minute sociology presentation right now. Ummm. Yeah. I think I'm just going to post some random facts instead. We've had quite an eventful morning anyways, researching the Watergate Scandal and all. First of all, what kind of a last name is Nixon? For real, I find that name annoying. 

So here come the random facts (all from a bathroom reader! ha)
• The scientific name for a hiccup is a singulthus. *hic* "Oh sorry, I'm singulthusing."
• Nissan (the car company) invented the artificial butt to test car seats.
• Time is actually getting shorter. 280 million years ago, a year lasted 390 days.
• Alaska's state flower is the forget-me-not! (EASY TO REMEMBER! ha)
• New Jersey is the only state without a state song.
• Each of the Statue of Liberty's fingernails weight about 100 pounds.. 
• The average smell weighs 760 nanograms.
• Winchester, Virginia, was captured 84 times during the Civil War.

Good ways to annoy people:
• Call an addiction hotline and say you're hooked on phonics.
• Ask a stranger if he/she has change for a nickel.

I'm out.

Friday, January 9, 2009

(Wo)men's Rights

Screw women's rights. What about men's rights?
I think that we should have a male dance team. And I want guys to bake me brownies on my birthday! If men and women should be equal, then I think girls should have to spend as much time in the weight room as the guys or that men should have to give birth to sextuplets. Men and women were not meant to be equal, obviously. Maybe in social aspects but I think it's gone a little too far. Girls need to stop freaking out. If being unequal means that I don't have to go fight in a war, then I'm perfectly happy being oppressed!!