Wednesday, July 21, 2010


I am really, really tired of people commenting on my posts in Chinese. I get really excited when I see I have a comment, only to find it is in a foreign language using *gasp* non-Arabic letters. NO COMPRENDO. And even then when I use my Babel Fish translator, I can't understaaaaand. Nothing against Asians. My sister will probably end up marrying one. But please. Write in English. It's not my fault it's the international language!

Here is a little diddy I just now composed (sung to the tune of....anything you wish)

When you come to my blog and you read what I write
Take a moment to comment, but not out of spite
Because if you do so I will hunt you down
And make you sit in the mud so your butt turns brown
'Cause I've got bacon and that's all I need
Well besides cats, or nutrition labels to read
I like to hear what you have to say
So give me something jolly to make fun of todayyyyy

This is what lack of sleep does to me.


ZOMG I leave for Germany in 25 days.

"There is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks."

And not that I don't approve of the kittycatz on the new Quiznos commercials, but I seriously miss those old spongmonkeys....

It's amazing what all you can find on YouTube.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Have you ever grilled a PB&J?

My worst nightmare has come true. I think I am starting to *gasp* turn into an optimist. Okay, that might be an overstatement, but I seriously have been thinking ridiculously hard for the past week about stuff to make fun of or criticize on thiz hurr website and I cannot come up with a single thing. Could it be? Am I turning into a slightly tolerable human being? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

Today at work, Andrew and I had a novel idea. What changes would our world face if someone concocted a type of pill that could replace sleep? What if you never got tired? Would our society see a more fast-paced lifestyle, accomplishing more tasks and having more fun? Or would more time be wasted? It's really interesting to think about.
A typical conversation in these living conditions:
Mother: Stop playing the PS27, it's time for bed!
Child: WHAT IS BED?!?!?!?!?!?!

Not really. But really. Would you have a bed? Could Young Money make your bed rock? Serious question.

Everybody reading this knows what lolcats are, right? I thought you did. Everyone know what lolspeak is? I thought you did, as well. I am not going to go into a lesson on this so if you don't know I suggest you Google it or pull a Benjamin Button to close the generation gap. Now here is my genius idea:

She's fun! She's flirty! She's fabulous! She's a smartass! She's....OHAI KITTEH. Tell me what you think.

And to my reader from Estonia, since I apparently have one of those (whadahexup): รœhest keelest ei piisa kunagi. 4eva.

I'm out. Love, peace, Swedish accent cheese