Thursday, November 6, 2008

WTF (wind that's freaky)

A four-letter word that has ruined my life.
Seriously, I don't understand why it always has to blow? Today I was minding my own business, walking to band (which requires me to go outside) when I was hit by a tornado. Seriously. A tornado hit me and managed to not destroy a single part of the school surrounding me. I mean, why did God sit down and say, "Hokay, so (I've decided God is French), let us make hot air molecĂșles less dense zan cold air molecĂșles so zat ze hot air rises and ze cold molecules rush in to replace zem." Obviously he saw that it was good. Because it's still happening. And it pisses me off. Why couldn't he just.. make the laws of science different. That would have been good. I think Obama's first step should be getting rid of wind. Just for me. If he can figure out a way, I will personally give him a dollar.

I mean, just imagine a life without wind. You could drop money on the ground and just stare at it for like five hours without worrying about it blowing away. IT WOULD BE FANTASTIC. But then again, I guess wind has its advantages. You're relaxing on a hot, foreign beach with hot, foreign guys and one in particular catches your gleaming eye. Your heart starts pounding and you flash a winning smile, right as the cool, foreign breeze picks up and wisks you hair back in the perfect model pose...

Screw it. I still hate wind.



(Below is another good use of wind I neglected to mention. But it still SUCKS.)

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